A Nothing Day

Today has been a nothing day. I was anxious to write a few minutes ago but things turned around in a hurry. Now that I have the laptop, I've lost my inspiration. I feel like a sad sack all of a sudden. I want to be existential, talk about deep things. Not shallowness or pop culture. None of my thoughts are like I want them right now.  Maybe that's the thing: I get to choose what I think about. 

My friends. That's what I chose. I don't think that's a bad call. Just did a quick check in with a few  of them. I want to invest in my friendships more. The ones that are valuable to me. Let go of all these shallow relationships. 

Timer started. Cigarette lit. Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg on the speaker. I still like the radio. Keeps me on my toes. We've gotten musically spoiled where we can curate what we want in our ears, skip when something offends. With the radio, you gotta take what you're given. 

Keep pushing through the timer. There are more things to say. If a gentleman comes over tonight, I will need to bathe. So that makes me want to not work too hard to get a caller. So I don't have to bathe. It would be good and healthy for me to bathe tonight. Even if no one comes. I have cast a few lines though. 

The idea of the five minute exercise is not to get loaded up with a topic before the timer begins. It's to force through block, however that takes it form. Don't sit around wait till you have something to say. That's the problem with the world, sometimes, no? People who have nothing to say are running their mouths. 

I am gonna wait till the timer is done to smoke another cigarette. Or hit of the pipe. Which I am doing. I like to think I like to get high and try to write. I believe it must make me more poignant somehow. 

I had other thoughts I wanted to explore but they've evaporated. If they return, they were meant to be mine or whatever. 

One of the lines I cast just texted back. Let's see how this goes...when the timer goes off. He's a strange one. I'm not ready to share my body with him, not until we have some sort of connection. I'll try to facilitate that but, you know. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be. I'll give him a fair shake. 

Hours later...

Tonight has been a bust as far as procuring a man. I didn't try very hard. There's nothing that good on the menu. Leah is coming over and I prefer that.