The Owls of Athena

-

 No rushing / no fixing / no censoring

There is a truth about me that I keep circling, but I haven't let myself land on yet. 

I need to do laundry if I want to have pants to wear tomorrow. 

If I were sitting here with no laptop, I would be thinking all sorts of abstract thoughts to jot down. But now that I have an outlet to drop thoughts, I think stupid things like, "my sweater is purple."

Leah is studying the Bible again. I'm a little jealous only because it was so fun to take notes and fill a notebook with inspiration and tears and stuff. that's what i'm trying to do here. just need a kickstart. 

The prompt (above in italics) makes me think of Dumbo and the Secret of NIMH and the Guardians of Ga'hoole. Owls. and flying elephants. Let's see about owls. they're in the running for a tattoo. 



Owls are dualistic figures, symbolizing wisdom, prophecy, and divine messengers (like with Greek goddess Athena) but also death, witchcraft, and bad omens in many other cultures

Got that from Google. 

Wisdom. Prophecy. Divine Messengers. 

I like to think of myself in those three categories. 

Athena. Lets get some buzz words for her. 

From Google: 

Athena is the powerful ancient Greek goddess of wisdom, strategic warfare, crafts (like weaving), and the patron of Athens, born fully armed from Zeus's head, known for her intelligence, helmet, spear, shield, owl symbol, and olive tree. She represents disciplined, just warfare, contrasting with Ares's chaos, and is a key counselor to Greek heroes, embodying civilization, reason, and skill, with her Roman counterpart being Minerva.


Seems like a peacemaker to me. The owl seems peaceful. I crave peace and avoid, run from, confrontation of any kind. 

That may not be true. If I saw an  injustice being committed, I'd like to think I'd take action. There have been times when that's been the case, however on a small scale. 

The idea of having to wear armor exhausts me. 

She contrasts with Ares's chaos, meaning that she represents order and structure. I do love a structure. Knowing the rules, the lanes, what's expected. 

Once Summer told me, "its about freedom. Freedom to worship God in your own way." That's what church was about for her. Freedom. I can see how it would make sense for her life. She has found a traditional path, where I have not.  I tried to. And I believe I'm bitter about the way my life has turned out. That is, I leaned heavy on the church and Christianity and it did not get me where I wanted to be. I feel like a lot was robbed from my life because of that life I was living. 

I don't want to go to bed because I believe I'm getting to know myself in this moment. I want to embrace that. Let it breathe. 

Let's look for owl tattoos. 


Sometimes I dream that I have tattoos. I want to do something small to see if I could handle the pain.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Roasted Carrots

-
Image
It was hard to wake up this morning. The alarm was incorporated into my dreams, although I can't tell you the subject matter anymore. I could have this morning. They disappate throughout the day. I was hurting bad enough that I considered not going to work, but I have a loyalty to my team, and I don't want to make them look bad. I want to physically show up as much as I possibly can.  Getting to my desk this morning was a struggle, although I did manage to make it there with a Cookie Butter Cappuccino from the breakroom. With a swirl of caramel sauce on top. If nothing else, that fancy machine has helped much in motivating me to get to the office.  When I had disposable money, I worked through this pain much better.  I scheduled a meeting for 10 AM with a few members of my operations team. I want them to build a tool for me that tracks hours for a job. If this works out well, we'll be able to use it for other jobs and it would be a boone to our project management team. If...
Read more

A Nothing Day

-
Today has been a nothing day. I was anxious to write a few minutes ago but things turned around in a hurry. Now that I have the laptop, I've lost my inspiration. I feel like a sad sack all of a sudden. I want to be existential, talk about deep things. Not shallowness or pop culture. None of my thoughts are like I want them right now.  Maybe that's the thing: I get to choose what I think about.  My friends. That's what I chose. I don't think that's a bad call. Just did a quick check in with a few  of them. I want to invest in my friendships more. The ones that are valuable to me. Let go of all these shallow relationships.  Timer started. Cigarette lit. Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg on the speaker. I still like the radio. Keeps me on my toes. We've gotten musically spoiled where we can curate what we want in our ears, skip when something offends. With the radio, you gotta take what you're given.  Keep pushing through the timer. There are more things to say. If a ge...
Read more